Thin is In and White is Alright
Thin is In and White is Alright
The Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.”
http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/
Here is the thing about the Fantasy of Thin: it’s never held that much power over me. I grasp it intellectually, but it doesn’t really speak to my personal experience. I think because the images and stories I see of women whose lives become amazing after dieting, are about white women. I don’t dream about the thin me having men and women fall at my feet, because that thin me would still be black and thus not beautiful according to mainstream beauty standards. I’ve been rejected more for my race than my fatness. I don’t sit around thinking about how a slimmer version of myself would get promoted at work, since dieting wouldn’t open doors for me that wouldn’t get slammed shut again by racism and sexism. That’s not to say that I’m not unaffected by the fantasies of the wonderful things that would happen if I was thin. I get the message that I am a lazy ugly failure for being fat in surround sound every day. I just happen to get that announcement with a special chorus of “why can’t you be less black?”
I think that “fantasy of thin” is about trying to look like what American culture says is beautiful: being thin and white (ideally with blond hair and blue eyes). When you get closer to looking like that “All American” beauty then you get the associated benefits and privileges. Pretty women are seen as trophies, as more healthy, more successful, etc. However, those benefits come with the cost of trying to live up to an impossible patriarchal standard, and often people assume that beauty is the opposite of intelligence. As a Woman of Color, I’ve felt the pain of knowing that, because of my race, I cannot be beautiful. “Classic beauty” is defined as whiteness. It may be possible to be “unconventionally” attractive, but even that dubious honor tells me my features are abnormal. From this position of pain also comes the opportunity to push back against mainstream standards, and embrace other ideas of beauty. For me, learning to love my fat body is tied up in learning to love my black body. Valuing my thick tightly coiled hair and full lips, has gone hand in hand with loving my rounded belly and big strong thighs.
Fatphobia is just one way in which people are marginalized for having a body that doesn’t match societal standards. Many of us are also fighting multiple forms of marginalization and oppression including racism, ableism, transphobia, and homophobia. For me, an important part of Fat Acceptance, and really any movement for social justice, is understanding that ending marginalization for reasons other groups is an effort that deserves both energy and support. It’s also important to accept that some people may prioritize other forms of oppression in their lives, and we shouldn’t criticize them for ignoring the “real” problem of fat hatred. We all need to remember that there is no hierarchy of oppression and that none of us can be free when one of us is oppressed.
Much love to Audre Lorde for There is no Hierarchy of Oppression Homophobia and Education (New York: Council on Interracial Books for Children, 1983). Also a reminder that this is a reflection of my personal experience of being a fat woman of color. My experience should not be taken as universal.
Yes.This.
what American culture says is beautiful: being thin and white (ideally with blond hair and blue eyes)
Don’t forget young, and with a “sexually binary” appearance. Believe me, if you’re over 40 and/or have male-pattern baldness and serious hirsutism and not-particularly-delicate-looking features, even if you’re Caucasian you’re going to get the “never” message too — unless you can afford like $150,000 worth of plastic surgery, which basically equates to “never” for most of us in that boat.
But it’s true, of the women I’ve spoken to personally over 40 who still have the FOBT, I have found that nearly all of those who cop to it are white. The only WOC over 40 I’ve heard expressing a serious desire to lose weight (as opposed to simply, “I could stand to lose X number of pounds, but whatever”) have been entertainers, who still worry about how they’re going to look onstage or on camera. When I found out Etta James had WLS because she didn’t feel worthy of the stage at the size she was pre-WLS, it was like a punch in the gut. A voice like that, and she doesn’t deserve a microphone because of her weight? Fucking tragic.
If we’re talking about white women over 40 of my acquaintance, though, I’ve found that most of the FOBT for them doesn’t so much involve the bikini fantasy, so much as it involves something like the Fantasy of Perfect Health, since they’ve likely been drilled a new orifice about that from their doctors, and sometimes there’s also the Fantasy of Making My Husband/Partner A Lot More Interested (both in sex and in pulling more weight around the house), and the Fantasy of Finally Getting That Job/Promotion. Good goddess but there’s a lot of money in promoting those fantasies. (And certainly it’s possible that plenty of WOC feel the same way but are less likely to say so out loud than white women are, at least that I’ve experienced. Others’ mileage may, as usual, vary.)
Thank you for this.
WORD. Excellence abounds.
@Meowser
I think some of the reason why older WoC are less likely to vocalized concern over FOBT is that they have other concerns which are getting prioritized. I also think it can become the fantasy of thin*ner* not thin. Like instead of becoming a size 2, becoming a size 10.
I feel like the fantasy of perfect health is tied into FOBT in someway. I don’t quite have a handle on it, but I feel like the idea that this idealized health state is possible and illness is seen as a moral failing somehow.
And thank you to etana, Lesley and chavvah
This is a really awesome post.
The Fantasy of Being Thin is clear to see. But the blond, blue-eyed thing? Increasingly the American ideal of beauty (and to a greater or lesser extent the global ideal - I live in Asia) is to an ethnically mixed ideal, where origins are ambiguous from looks alone. Think Jessica Alba; Angelina Jolie; Jennifer Lopez; Naomi Campbell. These ladies are only blond if they choose to be; only blue-eyed if they use contacts.
There shouldn’t be an ideal of beauty; but if there is one, surely a melting-pot ideal is better than Aryan purity?